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I Used to Love...L____.

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Lady, every two weeks you demand my attention.

I cannot seem to break loose and did I mention?

Sometimes you have a putrid aroma,

Whenever the sullied scent of messiness creeps into the room,

I know it is time;

Time to remind you of your natural luster; your shine, and remind you of the days when you were first mine,

The days that I first met you, everyone told me you fit me just right,

But, with every fortnight,

"L," it is as if you transform.

The fit is no longer right, but strange.

I reminisce on the days when you were so pure,

No one had touched you, I was certain, for sure.

How innocent and untouched. Now you are just used and washed up.

No longer clean and it ain't really my fault,

The threads are worn now and the years, yeah, they are starting to show,

I used to love you, but now, I do not even know.

I just hate doing you, especially now.

Girl, when I lift you up for the main event, it is almost like lifting a cow.

Too thick for words,

I like them thin.

I cannot deal with the heavy loads.

Simply put, you are just not my style.

Once, a satiny cloth, now a filthy rag.

Yeah, you were fine then.

And had more appeal than a fine linen; you were as good as silk.

I will put you through cycles. I will wash away those gray, dirty stains.

The signs of the abuse.

I will look at you with pride when the cycle is over.

I lay you out and do you until the deed is done.

I will offer 34 minutes of pure heaven.

At the end you will feel like you have never felt before.

You will come out like new and our happiness will be true.

But, as it is, Laundry I hate you.

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